We must ban boobs now!

January 18, 2013 9:39 PM ~  
A Washington Woman is accused of killing her boyfriend by smothering him with her breasts. No, really, she is. Stop laughing, a man is dead here....

Donna Lange, a 51-year-old woman from Everett, Wash., is believed to have suffocated her boyfriend to death with her breasts on Saturday, Jan. 12, according to Seattle's KIRO 7 Eyewitness News. Deputies, called to the Airport Inn trailer park at 12:45 a.m. for a disturbance report, found medics performing CPR on Lange's 51-year-old alleged boyfriend, who was later pronounced dead at Swedish Hospital.

Kiro 7 reports that witnesses claims they saw Lange throw her boyfriend down in the back of the mobile home. She was later found by witnesses with her chest covering the victim's face. Police noted the size difference between Lange and her boyfriend -- she was 5-feet, 6-inches and 192 pounds, he was 5-feet, 7-inches and 175 pounds.

Well, clearly, boobs are a danger to society, and they must be banned now. Who really needs such large assault boobs anyway? Sure, you may say, boobs don't kill people, people kill people, but there's just no responsible adult who would claim it necessary to have boobs like this. If boobs can kill people, we need to ban boobs now!